writer, poet, philosopher
the second the world fell apart
we became the opposite sides
of the same, damaged coin
the second the world fell apart
we broke into old pieces
we broke into old patterns:
me, sacrificing truth
you, sacrificing trust
I lost you
as you free-fell into your pain
a place where only you exist
I lost me
as I free-fell into your pain
desperate to find you there, to not be left alone
and so you lost me, too
I ask of you to stay with me
the night is dark and eerie
the wind is whispering memories
that stir up dusty fear
but halfway through you’re out of sight
you’re out of touch
I’m freaking out!
afraid your heart’s run off
it too afraid
and left me here…
love potions, too
taste bitter
shadows of white lies, too
are dark
“Only if you’re silent are you safe”, are the words I hear
and to save myself, I accept the terms
I rip my vocal cords out of my throat, leave you all I have left and run to find a place to hide and heal, in silence
Three men guard a female heart
Ensure that it is free
Protect it from all enemies
and that’s how it should be!
what I hear you saying is that you want to suck the freedom and spontaneity out of my veins, bottle it up and drink it between 2 and 4.30 on Saturday afternoons?
like you take a health supplement instead of eating greens
I’m not fucking Berocca!
I helped you steal my heart
then you escaped through an open window and vanished into the night
leaving me behind
I didn’t see that coming
I’ll grow a new one
how many times can I release the same man?
how many times can I let him go
only to find him there, again
hours or days or months later
sitting in my library peacefully reading my books
as if it’s the most natural thing in the world
as if he lives there
as if he never left
Johanna Benevole 