As I Let Go

I thought my heart would break…

my heart didn’t break
it healed
as I surrendered fully to loosing you
as I accepted my heart wasn’t choosing you
if it meant giving up on our dreams
and that’s what you asked, so it seems

Have We Ever Really Loved

have we ever really lived
until we’ve loved us through a naked goodbye
seeing only beauty through the tears

have we ever really loved
until we’ve lived the moment of complete surrender to impermanence
loved – not because of a dream nor a history, but the everlasting now
loved – bravely, with death sitting beside us

The End of a Love Story

Edgar – one of my love stories. One that has changed me forever. A challenging one. An honest one. Sometimes an almost co-dependent one. I feel every feeling when I think of our time together, but as I forgive us both for all the hard times, gratefulness is the feeling that remains. I gave him love, he gave me safety. A safe place to break open and heal.

The Moment Before Surrender

That moment before acceptance, peace
when the darkness embraces me
with love
And I twist and turn to get away
But it holds me like a mother holds an upset child
Until I finally surrender in its arms

That moment just before it releases me to run back into the light to play

Love That Does Not Leave

how many times can I release the same man?

how many times can I let him go
only to find him there, again
hours or days or months later
sitting in my library peacefully reading my books
as if it’s the most natural thing in the world
as if he lives there
as if he never left