left was the one
veiled in the shadows
beating herself up with bare hand
not chosen
not loved
her dreams without passports
citizen only of nothingness land…
Tag: enmeshment
On Valentine’s Day
the second the world fell apart
we became the opposite sides
of the same, damaged coin
the second the world fell apart
we broke into old pieces
we broke into old patterns:
me, sacrificing truth
you, sacrificing trust
I lost you
as you free-fell into your pain
a place where only you exist
I lost me
as I free-fell into your pain
desperate to find you there, to not be left alone
and so you lost me, too
Only If You’re Silent Will I Love You
“Only if you’re silent are you safe”, are the words I hear
and to save myself, I accept the terms
I rip my vocal cords out of my throat, leave you all I have left and run to find a place to hide and heal, in silence
I Close My Bud
my fear?
that you will change me
no, you’re right
that I will change myself in your presence
become something i’ve lost control of
in the worst of ways
and in doing so, wither and die
Johanna Benevole 