I spent an hour in the lap pool with no one else around. Too weak to swim laps I instead moved slowly with tai chi like strokes, feeling weightless water caressing my skin, hearing the billion different nuances of the sound of water, observing the optical illusions created by movement. Enjoying the metaphor – only in absolute stillness did the water reflect the world around me. The tropical lushness, the blue sky above. Even the slightest breath out would distort the picture of reality reflected on the surface. And I found a part of me that has expected to always be able to see the truth, and therefore has held its breath to not disturb the water.
we are children of a disconnected world
picking wings of butterflies
fascinated by their beauty
surprised when they die
but not guilt-ridden – they had it coming!
why else would they be pretty?
and after all, they landed in our hands…
my garden reminds me of you
I look away
and you go wild
I make a plan
but you grow in a different direction
I give you a sunny spot
with fertile soil and I water and water
but you don’t like me trying to change you
and you die on me
no place is lonelier
more painful than pain
is the pain no one sees