Miracle

‘what do you need?’, I ask
‘a miracle’, you answer

your eyes drop
you look away
ashamed of feeling powerless

and so you never notice the sparkles and glow in the air around me
as you utter
the word
miracle

Love

was it you hiding
or me not looking?

it’s quite a detail to miss, you heading another way
not loving enough to curiously see me

was it me hiding
or you not looking?

In Stillness, Enlightenment

I spent an hour in the lap pool with no one else around. Too weak to swim laps I instead moved slowly with tai chi like strokes, feeling weightless water caressing my skin, hearing the billion different nuances of the sound of water, observing the optical illusions created by movement. Enjoying the metaphor – only in absolute stillness did the water reflect the world around me. The tropical lushness, the blue sky above. Even the slightest breath out would distort the picture of reality reflected on the surface. And I found a part of me that has expected to always be able to see the truth, and therefore has held its breath to not disturb the water.

On Valentine’s Day

the second the world fell apart
we became the opposite sides
of the same, damaged coin

the second the world fell apart
we broke into old pieces
we broke into old patterns:

me, sacrificing truth
you, sacrificing trust

I lost you
as you free-fell into your pain
a place where only you exist

I lost me
as I free-fell into your pain
desperate to find you there, to not be left alone

and so you lost me, too

2018: Anger, Regret, Acceptance and Family

Anger is electrical discharge, as necessary as the lighting in the sky. Directed into the ether, it does no damage. Hence we should not suppress it, but rather learn how to steer it in a safe direction. Not towards revenge, not towards causing pain to ourselves or others, but into the safe ether. When no longer dangerous, it becomes but a beautiful flash in the sky.