Miracle

‘what do you need?’, I ask
‘a miracle’, you answer

your eyes drop
you look away
ashamed of feeling powerless

and so you never notice the sparkles and glow in the air around me
as you utter
the word
miracle

Waiting For You

in the space
between you
and you
your absence is heavy
weighting me down
as I hang in there

In My River, You Now Are

in my river
you now are
flowing calmly towards endlessness

streams effortlessly converged
unexpectedly, past a meander
our waters forever intertwined
amongst green hills of gratitude
under clear skies of love

On Valentine’s Day

the second the world fell apart
we became the opposite sides
of the same, damaged coin

the second the world fell apart
we broke into old pieces
we broke into old patterns:

me, sacrificing truth
you, sacrificing trust

I lost you
as you free-fell into your pain
a place where only you exist

I lost me
as I free-fell into your pain
desperate to find you there, to not be left alone

and so you lost me, too

Playing With Potions

love potions, too
taste bitter

shadows of white lies, too
are dark

As I Let Go

I thought my heart would break…

my heart didn’t break
it healed
as I surrendered fully to loosing you
as I accepted my heart wasn’t choosing you
if it meant giving up on our dreams
and that’s what you asked, so it seems

Have We Ever Really Loved

have we ever really lived
until we’ve loved us through a naked goodbye
seeing only beauty through the tears

have we ever really loved
until we’ve lived the moment of complete surrender to impermanence
loved – not because of a dream nor a history, but the everlasting now
loved – bravely, with death sitting beside us

Dear Lover

dear lover,

move me with your clear direction, hold me in my passion
touch me with each breath you’re taking, melt away my walls
expose what is beneath it all
a glowing force
a dancing flame
a naked woman with no name
dear lover, with your solid presence warm my thin bare shoulders

Christmas Came Early

Christmas came early – I wasn’t ready!
My fridge was all empty, my house was not cleaned
Nothing was wrapped with beautiful ribbons
Nothing prepared to be opened and seen

I’m Here, You’re Safe

I cry my tears and you hold me tight
whispering

I’m here, you’re safe

asking no questions
needing no answers
knowing my tears are just ice that is melting
glaciers surrendering in the warm spring of safe love

The Things We Sacrifice

unconsciously
undeliberately
we sacrificed

as we humans do, when we leave parts of us behind
forget them in places, forget them in people
in relationships
in love

Dropped

and as I was lying there
dizzy from the high fall
achy from the painful impact of reality
I finally learned
that I cannot avoid being dropped

Adventure

We go on an adventure
A road trip to the west side of our city
You get your root canals filled
I go on vacation: Lebanon, Afghanistan, West Africa

Only If You’re Silent Will I Love You

“Only if you’re silent are you safe”, are the words I hear
and to save myself, I accept the terms
I rip my vocal cords out of my throat, leave you all I have left and run to find a place to hide and heal, in silence

Shall we?

what I hear you saying is that you want to suck the freedom and spontaneity out of my veins, bottle it up and drink it between 2 and 4.30 on Saturday afternoons?
like you take a health supplement instead of eating greens

I’m not fucking Berocca!

My Burgling Days Are Over

I’ve climbed because you’ve challenged me, arrogantly thinking you’re safe behind those walls
I’ve climbed because I’ve felt lonely, because I’ve craved friendship and connection
But I’ve never meant to steal a heart!
I know it never ends well, the falling in love with a burglar – hearts are to be given to those invited through front doors

Chosen

I Close My Bud

my fear?
that you will change me

no, you’re right
that I will change myself in your presence
become something i’ve lost control of
in the worst of ways
and in doing so, wither and die

Two Times Divorced, One Time Widowed

I’m two times divorced and one time widowed
But from death, the heart doesn’t move
It sits down where sense vanished, where now flowers are growing
Allowing itself just to mourn

I Tried

no place exists where you cannot touch me
you find me wherever I hide
your heart is my heart, and no moving or hiding
can ever escape what’s inside

The Road to You | Vägen till Dig

my heart’s straightest road ends in you
it shimmers and calls, but I don’t go there

not anymore

Gamla Rum | Old Rooms

åh dessa rum, och de minnen som flödar över mig
pockar och ropar: kom hit, kom hem, känn mig, KÄNN MIG!
kallar
som en bra bok på nattduksbordet
som en film jag vill se om

Lost Soul Stamp

I took out a massive Lost Soul stamp – one I’ve never used before and didn’t even know I possessed – and stamped all over your image.

Paint

I take my big, wide brush

dip it in the tin of forgiveness

and paint our canvas white again

Love That Does Not Leave

how many times can I release the same man?

how many times can I let him go
only to find him there, again
hours or days or months later
sitting in my library peacefully reading my books
as if it’s the most natural thing in the world
as if he lives there
as if he never left