after reading my last blog post a friend sent me this message:
Wow! 🙌🏻 Love love love the way you write yourself Right.
which instantly threw me into a short but intense existential crisis…
***
yes, of course, I realised, that’s what I do in my musings!
write myself Right…
and it felt so WRONG to write myself Right!
so there I was
in the middle of the night
face to face with a belief I didn’t know I had:
it is WRONG to take on one single perspective, and make it Right!
***
those who know me would agree:
I’m a master of perspectives
of arguing the other side
of doubting what appears to be
well aware, there isn’t ONE truth
the flip side:
the risk of loosing touch with the singular perspective that is ME
to value it
and be proud of it
because THAT IS the human experience:
to take on ONE perspective, out of infinite possible ones, and make it subjectively Right
to create a personality around it
to embrace and protect it
to live it
knowing the perspective is not static
knowing it is only one of many
***
For periods, I’ve been writing only poetry
because poetry leaves perspective open
poetry is not opinion
poetry is not Right
poetry is feelings
posting musings, however
has been anxiety-ridden for me
because it’s a reflection not of my emotions, but my thoughts
not of my heart, but my ego – my unique perspective
and I’ve struggled to stand up for it
knowing its passing and questionable nature
***
my friend’s praising words filled me with shame
shame for implying I am Right
shame hiding judgement, judgement hiding fear, fear of … being Wrong?
I can debate my own opinions from different perspectives any day of the week
hence they will always be wrong
well, right, wrong, two sides of a coin
what is there to fear?
so I wrote this musing on Musing
watching fear evaporate at the light of awareness
acknowledging that MY perspective, however shifting, is ALWAYS Right
that is the beauty of being human!
