CONTROL | On trying to control situations and people out of fear of letting them too close. On trying to bottle up another person’s joy and freedom and drink it under controlled circumstances as if it was a health supplement. Utterly annoying.

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you look at me
I look at you
and we both know that we could

if we wanted to

but you want protective rules:
weekdays are for working
and Sundays you need to do your laundry

what about Saturday afternoons?
Saturday afternoons between 2 and 4.30 could work?
in between surf and sunset beers with the boys
you could text me during the day to confirm
you really DO want to keep seeing me
I inspire you, you say – I’m such a free and spontaneous soul!

you look at me, in anticipation
I look at you, trying to make sense of your words
and I know that we could, if we wanted to
but I guess you don’t

not enough

what I hear you saying is that you want to suck the freedom and spontaneity out of my veins, bottle it up and drink it between 2 and 4.30 on Saturday afternoons?
like you take a health supplement instead of eating greens

I’m not fucking Berocca!

you look at me, then look away
I look at you, and try to understand

I don’t

I look away

you look at me
you look away

we both know we could
we both know it could be absolutely frighteningly beautiful
but no, not with those rules around it

not with freedom bottled up as a supplement

we’d better not look…