War

And angels sing hymns as I watch the bombs falling
From crispy cold infinite skies oh so blue
My arms wrapped around me, my love as my shelter
I wish you were here, I wish we were two

My arms are only just better than nothing!
They can’t keep me warm, I’m cold to the bone
I know now – past running – that all that I wanted
Was not to be left in my war all alone

To Listen, Ask, Breathe, To Love

to love
is to hear the echo of lack in a being
and breathe into the empty space

with touch
with words
with gifts
with acts
with presence

sometimes that being is your long-time lover
sometimes a stranger, a friend, a flower, a dog

sometimes that being is you

Mastery Of Love

our mastery of love
is reflected less in what we give on a sunny day
but rather in what we are able to receive when it’s storming

Miracle

‘what do you need?’, I ask
‘a miracle’, you answer

your eyes drop
you look away
ashamed of feeling powerless

and so you never notice the sparkles and glow in the air around me
as you utter
the word
miracle

Love

was it you hiding
or me not looking?

it’s quite a detail to miss, you heading another way
not loving enough to curiously see me

was it me hiding
or you not looking?

In Stillness, Enlightenment

I spent an hour in the lap pool with no one else around. Too weak to swim laps I instead moved slowly with tai chi like strokes, feeling weightless water caressing my skin, hearing the billion different nuances of the sound of water, observing the optical illusions created by movement. Enjoying the metaphor – only in absolute stillness did the water reflect the world around me. The tropical lushness, the blue sky above. Even the slightest breath out would distort the picture of reality reflected on the surface. And I found a part of me that has expected to always be able to see the truth, and therefore has held its breath to not disturb the water.

Disconnection

we are children of a disconnected world
picking wings of butterflies
fascinated by their beauty
surprised when they die
but not guilt-ridden – they had it coming!

why else would they be pretty?

and after all, they landed in our hands…

On Valentine’s Day

the second the world fell apart
we became the opposite sides
of the same, damaged coin

the second the world fell apart
we broke into old pieces
we broke into old patterns:

me, sacrificing truth
you, sacrificing trust

I lost you
as you free-fell into your pain
a place where only you exist

I lost me
as I free-fell into your pain
desperate to find you there, to not be left alone

and so you lost me, too

2018: Anger, Regret, Acceptance and Family

Anger is electrical discharge, as necessary as the lighting in the sky. Directed into the ether, it does no damage. Hence we should not suppress it, but rather learn how to steer it in a safe direction. Not towards revenge, not towards causing pain to ourselves or others, but into the safe ether. When no longer dangerous, it becomes but a beautiful flash in the sky.

On Love and Fear

I ask of you to stay with me
the night is dark and eerie
the wind is whispering memories
that stir up dusty fear

but halfway through you’re out of sight
you’re out of touch
I’m freaking out!
afraid your heart’s run off
it too afraid
and left me here…